Its not Tourette’s, its just me venting.

Image courtesy of

Image courtesy of

Its not Tourette’s, its just me venting.

It’s impossible not to notice the daylight fraud being perpetuated on entrepreneurs and start-ups these days. On one hand they tell you to run wild with your idea, entrepreneurs rule the world, there’s nothing like working for yourself bla bla bla.

You then decide to allow yourself be bitten by the entrepreneurial bug and at that moment in your life, I can tell you that your struggle has only just began. By that, I don’t mean the general cliché you hear from successful entrepreneurs spitting advice from their 50ft yatch moored somewhere in the Bahamas about how tough it is to truly bring a product to market or how to strike the right work-life balance bla bla bla. I’m talking about the real struggle of actually having no damn person believing enough in your idea to want to invest in it.

I’m talking about the struggle of having a brilliant idea, and all you have asides that, is your proverbial manhood in your hand. I’m talking about NO INVESTOR, NO FUNDS, NO FINANCE, NO GRANTS, NO BACKING, NO BACKING, NO DAMN BACKING.

Too many people patronise entrepreneurs these days; nobody is out to help us. We just need to help ourselves. I’ve had a look at every single Startup assistance, Loan Company and broker. None, but none of them really care about your needs; it’s just about the bottom line y’all. Is that not enough to make you want to say F** F*** S***???

Explain to me how all Startup loan companies want you to give your blood in order to get money from them? How investors want you to give your soul to get investment? And how brokers want to have 99.9999 % shares in the company you have not even incorporated because they have done you a favor by connecting you to an ANGEL INVESTOR? Did you say ANGEL??? DEVIL DEVIL DEVIL. F****** H***

You are a startup for a reason, you don’t have any f****** money, but a brilliant idea that could rock the world. Such a shame that most will let your ideas die than to invest in you and your idea. You know why? Because no one f****** cares.

So, are you a budding entrepreneur? Do you have a wicked startup idea? Or are looking to one day work for no one but yourself? You need to get lucky because no one really cares. But guess what, you can do it!!!

Entrepreneurs need to work real damn hard, put themselves out there, network and GET LUCKY, to have a chance of investment or success. A good friend of mine summarises it succinctly: “when I see the word #Investor all I hear is rejection. For me the only option is 2 hustle my way to that million”
 – 29/07/2014. 
I have sacrificed a week of my life to research this. I dare any Angel investor and broker to prove me wrong. No one really cares. I also dare any Startup loan company to prove me wrong. No one really cares about your idea; they all care about their bottom line.

I totally understand that following the recession, most investors need to be careful with their money but they also need to trust Startups. I mean c’mon guys. Most Innovators will die with their ideas and startups, why?? Because no one has 100% trust in it. This is Wrong, so wrong. Makes me wanna scream: THIS IS SO F****** annoying!!
Every Business need to make money but don’t disguise yourself as one trying to help Startups if you are only interested in Numero Uno.

Oh, also, startup and investor jargon is so unnecessary. Do you want to invest in my idea? Simple Yes or No will suffice, Thank you for not wasting my time you F****** W****

Pitching your idea to investors should not be an assessment of your presentation or oral skills. A good idea is a good idea PERIOD. Entrepreneurship is for everyone, entrepreneurial success is only for a lucky few. That needs to change.
I know of a Hungarian dude who designed the Google glasses 2 years ago. Never got to see the light of day because no one believed in him.
Us Entrepreneurs are the most critical bunch known to mankind. We pride ourselves on the help and assistance we render up and coming entrepreneurs, but deep down, we really don’t care.

I wish I could help every Entrepreneur, I wish I’m superman. For once, the British Government is somewhat blameless in this (emphasis on ‘somewhat y’all). There are some good initiatives to kick start entrepreneurship in the country, its just that its been taken over by rogue Venture Capitalists, brokers and F****** investors and investment companies.

There is an initiative called the NEW ENTERPRISE ALLOWANCE. This is supposed to assist anybody willing to start a new business with a grant of £1000. Are you F****** kidding me? £1000???

£1000 to all new entrepreneurs is nothing short of insulting. Tell me, what business can you start and sustain on £1000? in this difficult economic times? The New enterprise allowance should be given on a case-by-case basis. You can’t simply give £1k to everyone with a business idea. Some startups require £500 to begin, while others require close to £100k. Somehow both figures are not the same.

Would love to see entrepreneurs thrive in this country. Kids of school age should be encouraged to be creative by doing business too.
Not everyone can be a Doctor or Scientist. Heck, some people just want to trade. Can that be wrong? I have never used my Aviation degree, not once in my life. But I constantly use my Self-taught Business degree.
Met a graphics designer last night who needed £7k to startup, she ended up getting £1k from the govt. Obviously the startup folded. Surprise F****** Surprise.
I am sick and tired of tips and advice on getting funds for startups. The only thing startups need is practical solutions on getting these damn funds. Everywhere you turn to these days, you’ll find someone giving tips and advice on Starting up, on Funding. All equals = No practical solutions!!

If you are lucky enough to identify a grant provider from the millions available, there’s always a catch… North of England Startups only, age 24-30 only, non-construction only. Oh, F*** OFF!! 
Another pissed off friend said: “The only way is to raise it yourself man, to me start up funding is a myth. Don’t even waste your time paying $$$ to brokers as well”
 Its a vicious cycle with one GOLDEN RULE — The rich will only get richer, the poor will only remain poorer and the rest of us just need to catch a F****** break.

Ok, maybe there are days you wake up angry at the world. Just pissed off with everything and everyone. Today is one of those days, tomorrow might be too.

Kole Obasa

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