I Am Grateful To You, For……. Everything.
I was just sitting here thinking about you, then I thought I should write you a short letter to say I am grateful.
What’s there not to be grateful for? I’m alive, in good health with few worries… (although I do worry about Arsenal ever winning the English premier league). But apart from that, I’m great. Hands, feet, mental capacity, great family unit, some amazing friends… (very tiny in number but amazing nonetheless).
Of course I am grateful, why wouldn’t I be? I know in the past, it might seem I’m not, but I’ve always been. Going to bed at night and waking up in the morning might seem like I’m taking it all for granted. Maybe it was youthful exuberance, maybe it was me thinking I was superman… but that was all you.
I am convinced those who have walked this earth but have been taken in their prime are not more special than I. Accidents, sudden deaths, terrorist attacks, infernos….they were all special, but they have all joined you.
Gratitude makes me remember my darling uncle, who left us suddenly on his 41st birthday. I also remember my other uncle whose life was snatched in broad daylight. My loving grandmother also left us when she was in her prime. Just this year, one of my friends passed in his room. Others have lost entire families. My point is …this world is full of death and I know this was not your plan. We have turned against each other, we now kill each other in this perfect garden you left us in. The garden now overflows with blood. But with all the blood around, you still kept me. You still made me thrive; you still protected me.
Gratitude makes me remember those hairy situations, those situations I have never shared with a living soul. Like the day those gunmen chased us in Lagos trying to get what was in the boot of the car. Like that day in Kent after my army training when instead of me, the other guy got hurt really badly, now I’ve heard he died. Like that afternoon the car won’t start and it turned out you were trying to protect my brother and I from that place we really wanted to visit. Like last month when that thing almost happened to me but you turned it around and it didn’t happen.
I’m more grateful for your unseen protection though. Many, many times you have protected me from very dangerous situations, those that I am not even aware of. Sometimes, I wonder if I deserve your super special protection. Why me?
Days that I have doubted myself, and others have doubted me. Days I walked dangerous paths and made wrong choices…. you corrected me and still gave me protection.
You never put me to shame. Just when I start to panic about a situation, you elevate me. When some people no longer regard me, or no longer find me interesting, you make me popular in the eyes of new people… even strangers. How do you do it? Even when things don’t go my way, they always, ALWAYS go your way. And it turns out your way is better anyway. Like when I waited endlessly for a call for that thing I wanted so badly, but the other people called instead. It now turns out that this one is a million times better than that one I wanted, I’m so grateful.
I have never ever taken for granted what I have been given and what I have been able to achieve. I have never assumed that it is just through my own smarts or that I am better than anybody else. I know there are so many people out there who are as good, or even better who never quite made it and I try very hard to remember that I have been lucky, and fortunate… and blessed too.
I can say a million things about what you have done for me, but what’s the point? You know it all already. Because of what you have done in the past, I suspect you’ve planned more great things for the future. You know in my heart that I am grateful for everything you’ve done, I just want to tell you that I will also be grateful for whatever you are about to do. I am grateful.